A Scam or Just Plain Scum?

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Maybe you have heard of Website Business and maybe you haven’t.  Based out of Phoenix, AZ since sometime around 2006 or 2007 this development company for bloggers and small business alike closed its doors for good on Aug. 29, 2011.  What seemed to be a legimate business ended up giving their employees bounced checks and no future.  What’s worse is the thousands of clients that have been taken for a ride.

Website Business was great at promoting the idea of blogging as a way of working at home and providing a much needed extra income for many people but numerous complaints have risen against poor customer service, false promises and people not receiving the product or service that was paid for.  Low end sites like this one to full communities that costed thousands of dollars to build have disappeared off the web.  It doesn’t really matter if someone invested $199 or excess of $100,000…we all ended up hurting in the end.  Many of those who are out thousands are now faced with the possibility of bankruptcy and are emotionally traumatized.

From what I have read, and conversations with another blogger, the owner Kyle Winn has knowingly drove the company into the ground and seemed to disappear off the face of the earth.  So, thanks Kyle as you don’t deserve the title of Mr.! Thanks for giving so many the hope of being able to provide for their families at costs that your clients really couldn’t afford only to achieve your own personal goals and then devastate all of us without any type of warning!  You’re a real class act.  Did you ever really have the desire for this to be a legimate business or was this your plan all along?  Go ahead, sit back and laugh at the suffering you have caused because I among many have to believe that you will be found, tried and sent where you belong for a long, long time.

Through my experiences with Website Business, I was nieve to believe that something great could happen and that my families financial worries would soon be a thing of the past.  What a fool I was!  To this day, I still kick myself for not backing up or at least doing my posts in a word processor and now have to try and rewrite everything.  I most likely will never recover anything that was invested to build the site in the first place and definately look at any “work at home” opportunities without thinking “scam opportunities”!  Do I feel sorry for myself over all this though? Not really, I feel horrible for those who got taken for so much more than me and would like to see Kyle Winn and anyone else who profited from this scam caught, punished and above all the backup files for everyone’s sites turned over to the rightful owners of the domains that were effected.  So in answer to the question “Scam or Scum?” I would have to say Kyle is both!

If you were a client of Website Business, what’s your experience and did you just give up or try to still persue your dreams on the internet?

I’m mad but refuse to give up.

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Helping Others Grieve and Moving On After A Loss

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Losing a friend or loved one happens many times during our lives and is usually an extremely devastating time for the survivors that were closest to the deceased.  It’s times like this that you may be wondering “What can I say or do?” to help families cope with these difficult times.  It seems more often than not that a normal reaction is to leave them alone and give them time to grieve for their loved ones but this probably isn’t the best choice.

While the surviving family members are feeling a mix of emotions be it shock, anger, and unbelievable sadness the reality is that there is so much to be done. This is when they need the support of others more than anything.  Many useful tips on how to cope with different types of loss can be found at www.dignitymemorial.com.  Some of their tips that I thought would be most helpful in any given situation are:

  • form a small group of family and friends and make a list of everything that needs to be done.  This can be anything from helping with funeral arrangements, doing household tasks, helping with small children or taking care of pets.
  • Instead of store boughten cards, write a personal note expressing your sympathy and mentioning a special memory you have with or of the person.
  • Most importantly, (in my opinion) is let them tell their story.  If you find yourself listening to the same thing over and over just remember it’s part of the healing process. This helps the survivors know that their loved one was important.

Finding the right words can also be difficult.  Comments such as “I know how you feel”, “Time heals all wounds” or “God has a plan” can actually cause more damage than good.  A simple “Please accept my sympathy” or “Sorry for your loss” would be acceptible.  At times when there really are no words, a hug, double handed handshake or shoulder squeeze are used to express deep feelings.

After losing my dad the day before Mother’s Day, one thing that has helped me get through the grief was that my mom got cremation jewelry for each member of our family.  She got a keychain and the rest of us chose pendants in which a small amount of dad’s ashes were put in.  Unless someone asks, they look just like a pendant necklace and were much more affordable than getting them through the funeral home.

Last month the funeral home we went through held a memorial service for those who lost someone during the year.  My mom went but unfortunately I was unable to make it.  She was kind enough to fill me in on a few of the tips they provided on coping through the holidays and other special days and also showed me the Christmas ornament that they handed out to those who attended.  A couple of the suggestions they had were:

  • discuss it with the remaining family and possibily end old traditions or start new ones.
  • If you don’t want to face the holidays or celebrations alone, say so and reach out to your family or friends.
  • to get back into the mainstream of socializing, maybe look into getting involved in community events or signing up for something through your local recreation department.
  • volunteer your time to something that was important to both you and the deceased.  Some examples are schools, retirement homes, food pantries, homeless shelters, hospitals, etc.  By doing this it will help refocus your mind from the pain of your loss to the satisfaction of helping others and also will help to regain some of your identity.

Though there is no time limit on the grief one feels, there are ways to turn the loss into something positive.  A sure example of this is how my mom has been able to move on.  After losing my dad she started driving other elderly people to doctors appointments and other places through the interfaith program at our church.  This has been beneficial to her by meeting new people, making new friends and getting out.  A couple other things that she’s done is getting involved more with church functions and participating in things at the senior center in her community.  I still get days when I break down and cry but in the end I find comfort just knowing that the years my dad was suffering is over and he has found eternal peace where he is always with me one way or another.

Death often weighs heavier on us by its weight on others, and pains us by their pain almost as much as by our own, and sometimes even more.  MONTAIGNE (1533-1592)

 

 

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The Tragedy That Changed My Life: When Nightmares Become Reality

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This is rather long but I would like to include as much as possible.

Have you ever had a nightmare that scared you awake? Did it continue once you fell back to sleep and leave you with a feeling that something happened but you don’t know what?  It did to me and I still remember it all these years later like it was just last night.

I was 14, an only child of a middle class family, when one night I had this dream that something bad was chasing me through a forest.  I got so scared it woke me up but when I finally found sleep something had happened in my dream that changed my life forever.  Was it coincidence or just plain fate?  You decide…

Like I said, I was 14.  Our church was planning a weekend retreat of camping, fellowship and fun for the confirmation class and any of the other youth that wanted to go.  We weren’t allowed to bring anything electronic such as radios or televisions but could have games or things to do outside in the snow.  At first I was excited to go but after having this nightmare I tried everything I could to stay home.  When I would beg my mom to let me stay she just told me “I paid $35 for you to go and you’re going” not even taking into consideration the uneasy feeling I had that something was going to go drastically wrong that weekend.

Needless to say, my suitcase, guitar and myself set off with the church group for the weekend.  We were to be gone from January 26-28, 1983.  I don’t remember much about the few months before this time or little over a week afterwards and have no memory of the day the accident happened. The details I’m about to share with you is what one of my friends witnessed happen.

One of the things we all loved to do was go sledding in our free time.  We somehow were able to borrow an intertube that was big enough to hold 3 people and our cabin was next to the only sledding hill in the camp.  The hill itself was a 75ft. drop at a 45 degree angle and 30ft across.  Since we had nothing electronic, nobody knew that it had rained and snowed during the night which caused everything to ice over.  It was a Sunday, about a half an hour before we were to get on our bus and head back home which would have been about 10:30am.  After everyone had their things together and loaded on the bus and made sure the cabin was all cleaned up we could do whatever we wanted until it was time to leave.  Some of the kids in our group went to say their goodbyes to another church group and the rest of us went sledding…one last time.

There was a huge pine tree about half way down the hill that the kids that went down before us barely missed.  Though hesitant, I got on the tube with a couple other friends of mine and we weren’t as lucky.  When I asked my friend what happened, he said that he was screaming at us to jump but will never know if we didn’t hear him or just didn’t listen.  We must have hit a bump that completely spun us around so we were going backwards and never saw the impact that was about to happen.  The teen in the middle hit head on throwing him the rest of the way to the bottom of the hill, laying in a pool of blood with his head resembling a smashed watermelon.  The other teen either jumped or fell off and had no injuries.  I hit with my head and was thrown upside down against the tree shattering my spine.  At first everyone thought we were dead until my friend at the bottom of the hill got up, asked what happened and wanted to get cleaned up to go home.  I’m assured he didn’t like being forced to stay where he was in the freezing cold.  As for me, they weren’t sure if I was alive or not until I periodically came to with blood curdling screams.

Once someone found a phone to call 911 it took an hour and a half for the ambulances to get to us because of the road conditions but eventually got us to the closest hospital where we were stabilized.

My parents didn’t know what was going on when they came to pick me up at church and only my things were there but not me.  They had no choice but go home and wait for the call that they feared the most.  When the call came, they were told that I had a head injury and to come to University Hospital in Madison.  It was there that they found out I also had a spinal cord injury and would never walk again.  They were also informed that by the severity of our injuries it is estimated that at the point of impact we were at a speed of about 55mph.

The first memory I have is around February 8, 1983 and that is I was pissed because they shaved half my hair off for a few stiches!  As far as my feelings, I was sort of glad I got out of gym class because we were going to start gymnastics and I wasn’t good at that but I think I was still in shock and reality hadn’t set in yet.  The doctors were always pushing me to try and wiggle my toes without hope and then I started getting angry.  I was mad at everyone and everything, my mom for making me go, God for not protecting me, you name it and I was angry at it.  It wasn’t until around Easter that I finally broke down and cried.  I never felt so alone in my life until then but the rehab nurse that was tending to my roommate came and sat on my bed when she was done and just held me and let me just let everything out.

From then on even though I was going through so many emotions I wanted to learn everything I could about spinal cord injuries (SCI) since this was to be my way of life from then on. After about 6 months in the hospital I finally got to go home.

I was so happy to finally be home, my parents had a “Welcome Home” banner over the garage door and they left my room just as it was when I left.  The physical injuries were healing but the psychological damage would take years to overcome.  I became severely depressed and was drinking a lot.  By the time I was in my senior year, I can look back and admit I had a problem.  I used alcohol as my escape from reality when looking back all it did was eventually cause more problems.  When the drinking didn’t seem to help the friends I chose at the time helped me experiment with drugs.  Sure, I was relaxed but it still didn’t change anything in the real world.  I consider myself fortunate that I didn’t allow myself to be addicted and am grateful that I quit drinking over 20 years ago.

There is so much more I could tell you but what I will say is that I am blessed with the loving family I have today and now realize that in a way, God did protect me…I have had more than second chances at life.  Above all else, I have learned to never take anything or anyone for granted because in the blink of an eye it can be taken away.

Life is a gift, treat it like a treasure.

 

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Hang Up and Drive!

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Posted 6/12/2010 @ 6:55:16 pm  by TRAGICEXPERIENCE.COM

Are you one of the people who become annoyed, frustrated and angry by people paying more attention to their cell phones than the road while driving? If so, please sign

Oprah’s pledge to make your car a No Phone Zone! By doing so, you may very well save a life of someone else or your own.

Every year thousands of people are killed by those texting or talking on their cell phones. Many more are injured. According to the FCC, in 2008 5,800 people were killed and another 515,000 were injured as a result of distracted drivers. Most people may think that they are capable of at least talking while driving but it has been proven that while holding a conversation on the phone, your mind is on the topic at hand and not on what’s going on in front or around you. Just talking while driving puts you at four times the risk of getting into a crash than if you weren’t talking at all. Texting is even more dangerous Statistics have proven that the reaction times are decreased greatly when using a cell phone while driving. A 20 year old on the phone is equivalent to a 70 year old not on a phone. Other factors are that the distance between cars is greater, it takes longer to get up to speed and has been shown that it is just as dangerous as driving drunk. These are things they probably won’t teach you in drivers ed.

People talking or texting in cars aren’t the only ones guilty of driving distracted. According to an article in Consumer Reports the Boston transit authority placed a ban on cell phone use by all train, trolley and bus drivers. In early May of 2009 a trolley operator crashed into another trolley injuring 49 people because he was texting at the time. September of 2008 a commuter train crashed in California killing 25 and injuring 125 more also by texting. All these people could have been saved by using some common sense.

Just the other day, we went out as a family and the person in front of us was texting while driving. This person was swerving and going 15 mph under the speed limit. Speak of getting annoyed! After watching some of the videos on Oprah.com of those who lost children, husbands, wives, parents, grandparents…is the text really worth it? In one particular video, a young man still feels the guilt and anguish over the two people he killed because of texting when he was 19 years old.

As cell phone use has greatly increased to close to 300,000,000 users in the U.S. alone, many people have become dependent on them as a type of lifeline for their jobs. Some key factors to keep yourself and others safe while driving are:

If you need to make a call, pull over to the side of the road or into the nearest parking lot before making the

call.

The same goes for sending or receiving a text. If you receive a text while driving, resist checking it and let it

stay in the in-box until you can check it safely.

Invest in a hands free device and use voice dialing if you have to make an important call and keep it short.

Many people may think they can handle texting and driving but reality proves differently. Please don’t make the same mistake that so many others have. The texts can wait and there are hands free devices for those who just have to take the call. Hang up and drive safe!

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